


and we drink our coffee and pretend not to look at each other

by koedeza



Series: post episodes [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: 10x03 i guess, Angst, Gen, Post Demon!Dean, dean feels worse, fix-it kind of, guilty!dean, sam feels bad, why is there so much uncertainty in the tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-01
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2019-05-31 13:28:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15120386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/koedeza/pseuds/koedeza
Summary: As soon as they move one step ahead, everything takes ten steps back.(Or Dean messed up, and Sam won't let this one slide because he shouldn't have to)





	and we drink our coffee and pretend not to look at each other

**Author's Note:**

> im bitter about how the show handles things ok

“I can do it myself, Dean”

“Dude your arm is fifty shades of  _fucked up_ , let me take care of it.”

“It’s fine! I can do it.” Sam snaps from his perch on the ladder, bulb tucked in between his chest and his elbow. His other arm is still laid up in a sling, held tight to his body. Dean would not use fine to describe the situation. His brother keeps trying to stretch up and unscrew the bulb that doesn’t work, but Dean can see the obvious discomfort it causes him.

“It’s literally never going to get done if you keep doing it like that.” Dean crosses his arms and leans against the doorway. He knows what angle he has to play to get Sam to give in. It only takes a few jibes to get him to let up, a few ‘You’re not doing this right-’, or ‘I coulda done it faster’, but this time something’s different.

Sam’s not giving in anytime soon.

“What the hell is up with you Sammy?” Dean asks, a little bit too roughly, and even though Sam’s back is turned to him, he can see the tell-tale signs of inquietude.

“Can you-” Sam’s one-handed attempts at unscrewing the lightbulb are pathetic as they come, and Dean winces each time the tiny ladder rickets a little bit. Maybe though, Sam’s finally changed his mind. Maybe the dumb-ass actually wants help. What Sam says though, is the opposite.

“Sammy, if you move the ladder that way, and then change your angle a little-” Dean goes at it like he’s reading an instruction manual but Sam cuts him off, lowering his arm from the ceiling.

“Stop. Please stop trying to help.” Sam looks exhausted. When he turns to Dean, his face is pale and the shadows under his eyes are dark enough that they could imitate bruises. Dean scratches the back of his neck awkwardly because  _no_  that is not what he expected Sam to say-

“And stop calling me Sammy.”

There’s no further explanation offered so Dean just stands there dumbfounded. He can feel the bunker air instantly turn sour, tension locking itself into every nook and cranny. The stiffness in the air has been there for days, ever since Sam cured Dean and now it feels even worse like an oppressive blanket’s been layered on top of everything.

Leave it to him to kick the bucket and create even  _more_  reasons for his little brother to be traumatized beyond scientific explanation.

“I’m sorry Sam.”

It doesn’t alleviate the pressure of the last week. It doesn’t make Dean feel any better. It doesn’t make any of the shit that happened magically disappear. It certainly won’t make it up to Sam.

“Can I at least stay here, make sure you don’t crack your gourd open when you fall off that ladder?” Dean scrubs a hand across his face and watches as Sam climbs back up the ladder and throws the bulb on the bed.

“Um, I guess.”

Dean doesn’t need any further invitation to stay, but he’s also not going to go into the room. It even surprises  _him_ , because Dean’s always been a no-boundaries kind of guy, never asking before he does something. This time though, this time, he’ll show restraint because he  _knows_  all the shit he’s done in the past couple of weeks. The hammer marks in the wall serve as a constant reminder of that.

So he leans against the wall in silence and clamps his mouth shut every time Sam grunts or his face goes pale in pain. He shuts his mouth and watches as if everything’s ok. Sam takes long breaths and squeezes his eyes shut every time a movement jostles his arm too much, but Dean stands there as if nothing ever happened. 

It goes against every fiber of his being, but he lets Sam change the lightbulb with an injured arm. And when his little brother finishes it up, and sweat glistens off his brow, Dean simply moves to the side and lets him pass.

They don’t look each other in the eye for a long time after that.

 

**Author's Note:**

> im bitter but i still love the show
> 
> come harass me on tumblr @koedeza


End file.
